Online DeskSpartans. Badgers. Sooners. Longhorns. Gators. Tigers. Rebels. Weird hoodie-wearing midwestern Tigers. Death, Taxes and 18 to 22-year-olds flying around a 120-yard grid of paydirt. This is week seven, y’all, and we have some good picks for you. Time really flies when you’re losing money! I’m proud to admit we spent more time on these picks than our midterms this week. You’re welcome.
Michigan State at No. 8 Wisconsin (-10.5) O/U 40
Joshua: I’d love to give the Spartans some credit considering I took them to five consecutive championships in my NCAA Football 10 dynasty mode, and they have a brutal schedule, but they can’t hang, fam. Michigan State has the No. 6 toughest schedule in the FBS, and it shows. They got walloped by Ohio State last week, and I think Wisconsin does the same at home.
Griffin: This game kicks off at 2:30 p.m, and according to the googles, the sun will set in Madison, Wisconsin at 6:20 p.m. This means that as third quarter ends and the sun falls gently behind Camp Randall Stadium, 80,000 cheeseheads will erupt into the most raucous rendition of “Jump Around.” It’s impossible to pull an upset after that. Oh, and Jonathan Taylor is the best RB in the country and Wisconsin is giving up 5.8 points a game defensively. ON WISCONSIN!
No. 6 Oklahoma (-11.0) at No. 11 Texas O/U 76.5
Joshua: Oh, how about this for the second-best game of the weekend. I was confused with a double-digit line in this one, then I thought about it. Texas allows 441.8 yards per game. Oklahoma leads the nation with 643.8 yards per game. Of course, the Sooners ain’t played nobody, but Jalen Hurts has to be waiting to get at that injury-ridden squad. Oklahoma wins easily.
Griffin: After defeating their first five opponents by an average margin of 34.4 points per game, the Sooners will face their first true test of the season Saturday morning. It’s tough to project an outcome other than to suggest that points will be scored — and a lot of them (take the over). The Cotton Bowl will be filled with Texas fans, full of fried butter and cream corn fritters from the Texas State Fair, and that means something. I don’t think the Longhorns can topple Hurts and Oklahoma, but Ehlinger keeps it close. Texas +11.
No. 1 Alabama (-17) at No. 24 Texas A&M
Joshua: The Aggies struggled with Arkansas in the Southwest Classic two weeks and you can’t tell me the Razorbacks have any business on the field with any top-25. I’m not sure why Texas A&M is so jazzed up about this game right now. You ever want to see a confident field mouse take on a crawling king snake? Flip this bad boy on.
Griffin: Perhaps I’m being naive, but Alabama giving Texas A&M 17 points seems astoundingly low. The Aggies narrowly escaped a historically bad Arkansas team last week and don’t have a win on their schedule to suggest that they can keep up with the nation’s best offense. Alabama has won its last three road matchups against Texas A&M by an average of 11 points, but the Crimson Tide offense is peaking right now. Give me the points and the over.
No. 7 Florida at No. 5 LSU (-13.5) O/U 56
Joshua: YES SIIIIIIRRRR. This is the main event, ladies and gentlemen. Kyle Trask has been great for the Gators, completing 72.2% of his passes in five games and I love the Florida defense. But the second coming of Tom Brady, Joe Burrow back at Death Valley ready to tell them boys something good. This is the game that swaggy bastard Burrow jumps above the field in the Heisman race. I told y’all this dude was cold.
Griffin: “It is a pantheon of concrete and steel, it is a city that rises defiantly in the delta, alongside the father of waters, it is the humidity of autumn eves, the great stately oaks. It is haunted, and it is loud. It is a Louisiana gumbo of humanity. The chance of rain is…never. It is the cathedral of college football, and worship happens here. And it is Saturday night, in Death Valley.” Tigers by a billion.
Ole Miss (-11.5) at Missouri O/U 55.5
Joshua: The Rebels got a big win last week, but going from Riley Neal to Kelly Bryant, even if he’s hobbled, is going to be a tough task for ye olde Landsharks. I assume John Rhys Plumlee gets another start considering we still haven’t heard anything from Matt Luke or Rich Rodriguez this week and they have some questions to answer on offense. First off, can they pass the football? If they can’t then how do they disguise the run game while giving Ealy the ball more? It’s just too much for me. Missouri wins 31-14.
Griffin: This game boils down to Kelly Bryant’s knee. If he’s 90-100%, the porous Ole Miss defense will struggle against Bryant; he’s a mobile and a physical runner, and has the arm strength to stretch the back line of the defense to open up running room for both himself and Larry Rountree. However, if Bryant is more injured than the Tigers’ coaching staff is letting on, Ole Miss has a chance. All-SEC caliber linebacker Cale Garrett is out for the remainder of the season, but linebacker play is more expendable than a defensive tackle or nose guard. If Corral starts and Ole Miss can once again blend run/pass schemes, I think Ole Miss wins outright. So, Plumlee: take Missouri -11.5. Corral: Ole Miss +11.5.
