April 1, 2024
1 min read

Drones join Starship fleet for speedier delivery

Graphic by Milo Gildea.
Graphic by Milo Gildea.

Editor’s Note: This story is one of a series of stories written by The Daily Mississippian staff in celebration of April Fool’s day. 

Students were left in shock as chaos unfolded in the typically serene skies above the University of Mississippi campus over Easter weekend.

Starship Technologies, known for their robots (that respectfully crawl), has incorporated drones into their fleet at UM for quicker food delivery.

Witnesses described one scene from this weekend similar to one out of “The Wizard of Oz,” but instead of flying monkeys, reports say there were flying drones crowding the sky, swooping down on unsuspecting students.

“It was insane,” Lauren Heenan, a junior allied health studies major from Milford, Conn., said, traumatized. “I want the old robots back.”

Instead of ambling through campus delivering snacks, the drones hurled through campus at lightning-speed, crashing into trees, buildings, cars and even people.

“I think I have a concussion from when some drone dropped a Starbucks on me. It must have been a venti because it really hurt,” J.R. Ingersoll, a sophomore general business major from Dallas, said.

University officials were caught off guard by drones’ aggressiveness and scrambled to contain the situation. One officer said, “I knew this would be a bad idea,” regarding the implementation of drones in food delivery.

Students were advised to proceed with caution when ordering from the Starship app, as the drones are still in their testing stages.

On the other hand, Anna Catherine Gansereit, a junior exercise science major from Atlanta, claimed she never had a problem with the new flying food delivery.

“I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. I’ve never had any problems with the new drones. Except for that time when they dropped my Starbucks on that guy’s head. I hope he’s okay,” Gansereit said.

The drones have decreased delivery times by over 70%.

“Ole Miss is such an exciting place, I’m really not surprised they did this.” Jillian Badeaux, a sophomore psychology major from New Orleans, said.

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